by Pamela Readhead
Despite stories about pink limousines, lavish parties in stately homes and kitsch presents, many of the gay couples who will be celebrating their 'big day' this week will be setting the seal quietly on a partnership that has already lasted for many years. An ESRC project led by Professor Carol Smart, University of Manchester, talked to nearly 100 people who had taken part in informal commitment ceremonies or were planning to register civil partnerships which have become legal this month after years of campaigning.
Over 1200 couples have already booked to register their same-sex partnerships in ceremonies that will take place in register offices and other licensed venues, such as Claridges, Leeds Castle and Madame Tussauds. The city of Brighton, which pioneered a 'pink wedding waiting list' last July has taken over 500 bookings for the next few months and has already been hailed as the 'gay Vegas'. Meg Munn, minister for equality, told the BBC that the government expected 4,500 couples to 'get partnered' in the first year.
The new legislation recognises same-sex couples as legal partners with similar rights to pensions and inheritance as married couples. Next-of-kin rules, including access to fatal accidents compensation, will also be clear. The new law also provides for a court-based 'gay divorce' and clarifies responsibilities to children.
Civil partnerships do not involve a religious ceremony or blessing in the union of gay and lesbian couples, and are parallel, not equivalent, to marriage, but the commercialisation of gay 'marriage' has already begun. Barclays Bank has produced Get hitched, a guide to the rights and responsibilities of civil partnerships, whilst Hilton Hotels is promoting its 70 branches as venues for commitment ceremonies and 'gay Christmas breaks.' Websites like http://www.pinkweddings.biz/ and http://www.fabulousgayweddings.com/ are offering a range of event opportunities, which can take care of everything from a venue in the Highlands of Scotland, to firework displays, flowers and rings.
The Manchester findings, which are still being analysed, show that attitudes to commitment ceremonies tend to vary with the age of the people involved. For older couples, some of whom may have been together for over 40 years, the main motive is to protect their partners from legal inequalities in the case of illness or death. One of the people interviewed conjured up an image of "hordes and hordes of older couples queuing at register offices." "This is because gay and lesbian couples in their 60s or 70s are more concerned about legal issues such as next-of-kin rules, pensions and tenancy rights. They have no need to prove their commitment or win approval", says Carol Smart. "They don't need that kind of affirmation, they just want to look after each other."
The researchers found that some younger couples wanted a commitment ceremony for romantic reasons, and felt that the introduction of civil partnerships offered an opportunity to express their love, but those in their 30s and 40s had additional priorities. "They felt a need for recognition, not just legal rights; they wanted their partner to be acknowledged and respected as part of their family" Carol Smart explains. "Same-sex couples with children also felt a need to safeguard the position of the other parent should anything happen to them."
Many of the interviewees wanted to find religious recognition as part of their legal partnership, particularly when their parents would not accept their relationship. In such cases it was very important to find supportive churches or individual ministers who were prepared to provide this extra element of recognition they wanted.